Little Dean Winchester's ABC of Life
by Giacinta2
Summary: Nine-year old Dean's thoughts in ABC form.


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A is for alcohol:- Sometimes dad comes back smelling of it, a blank expression on his face.  
He barely glances at us then, just pulls out a bottle and pours himself one glass after another.  
His eyes go dark, so that's when I take Sammy as far from him as I can, even if it's just to the bathroom or onto the bed.  
Dad has never laid a hand on us, and I know he loves me and Sam, but when he's like that I feel a chill running down my spine.

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B is for Brother:- Little brother. That's Sammy. He's just a squirt but he's as cute as a button.

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C is for CPS:- Dad says I've got to be careful and not let anyone into the motel room, and _**never**_ to let slip that we're on our own when he's off on a trip. The CPS people would take us away and split us up and I wouldn't see my baby brother again. That can't happen, ever!

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D is for Dad:- My dad used to be the best in he world. He still is, but sometimes he looks at me and Sammy different. Like he's looking at us but not really seeing us.

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E is for Enemy:- Dad says there are evil things hiding in the dark and I have to learn all about them so I can look out for Sam when Dad's not around.

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F is for Family:- Our's is just me, dad and Sam.

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G is for Grand-parents:- Sometimes I wonder if me and Sammy have any. Once I asked Dad and he told me mom's parents had died before he and mom got married and that his own dad was dead too. I was still curious but dad's face got that shut-in expression, so I knew he wasn't going to spill any more.

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H is for Hope.:- Maybe one day, when things are better, dad will settle down, and I'll have a room of my own again, filled with cool stuff.

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I is for Impala:- Dad makes Sammy and me ride in the back. It's safer he says, but one day I'm gonna learn to drive, and _**Sammy and I**_ will put dad in the back seat!

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J is for John Winchester:- That's my dad's name. He's tall and strong and he looks after me and Sammy, though I wish he wouldn't leave us alone so often. But Dad says he has to save people and that's why I have to learn to fight and shoot, so I can defend Sam and help dad when I get older.

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K is for Ketchup:- Hamburgers are no good unless they're dripping with it. Sometimes I pour even more on just to bait Sammy. "Ew!That's gross, Dean," he bitches on cue, his little nose scrunched up in disgust.

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L is for Love:- I love Dad and Sammy. Dad is big and strong. He knows how to defend himself but Sammy's tiny and skinny. He needs me to look out for him. When he was a baby, I used to tell him how much I loved him, but I don't say the words any more, it's too sappy!

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M is for mom:- She died in a fire. I got a glimpse of her before dad gave me Sammy to hold and told me to run. She was on the ceiling looking down. Dad says I never spoke for months after, and I only started talking again when Sammy did, though I wouldn't speak to dad for a lot longer.

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N is for Nightmares:- I used to get them after mom died, but when Sammy started to have them too and cry out in his sleep, they disappeared.  
When Sammy wakes up scared, I pull him in and hold him tight. I just can't stand to hear him sob.

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O is for Orders:- Dad gives them and I always obey. He says good soldiers always do.  
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P is for Pie:- Mom used to make them. Her apple pie was the best in the world. She used to laugh and say she hated cooking and only learned after she married dad. Before that she was a patented tomboy.

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Q is for 'Quackers':- It's the name Sam gave to a rubber duck we found in one of the flats we stayed in when Sam was still a toddler. I used to dangle it as bait to get him into the tub. He really loved that duck. We must have lost it along the way, it just disappeared.

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R is for Rats:- I hate their furry asses. One crawled into my bed once when we were in a run-down motel. I yelled loud enough to wake the whole town. I used to get nightmares after about these huge rats swarming all over me and ...well. I don't want to think about that!

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S is for Sam:- He's my five year old geeky little brother. He's the cutest kid on the face of the earth. When he was a baby he used to smile up at me as if I was the most important person in his life. Well, he's the most important person in my life too.

He's still cute, but now he deafens me with his chatter.  
Always asking questions that I don't have answers to, or don't want to answer like, "Why don't we have a mom? Why don't we have a home. Why does dad go off and leave us. Why...why...why?"  
I can't tell my little brother why. Dad's explained things to me but I don't want Sam to know about monsters until he's bigger and won't be as scared.

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T is for tomorrow:- Dad takes us all over in the Impala, so tomorrow we never know where we'll end up.

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U is for unicorn:- Since Sam saw a picture in a book, he insists they're real. Both Dad and I have told him they're not, but Sam says just because we haven't seen one, doesn't mean they don't exist. Go figure!

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V is for vegetables. Horrible limp green stuff. Nuff said!

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W is for weapons:- Dad's got quite a collection in the trunk of the Impala. He says I've got to learn how to use them all. They're cool, especially the guns. Dad's been teaching me how to shoot. I'm a natural, he says. When I hit the targets, he smiles and ruffles my hair.  
One day I asked him if Sammy would have to learn too. "Yeah, when you're brother's older," he replied.  
I don't know why the idea upset me, but it did. I just can't imagine my kid brother holding a gun.

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X is for Xmas:- We don't celebrate it any more, though I remember how, when mom was alive, we used to have a big tree at Christmas with lots of presents underneath. Sammy never even got to have one Christmas with mom.  
I always try to get him something, even if it's just a stupid little toy soldier or a comic book.

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Y is for Yogi, the coolest bear on TV. He loves food as much as me!

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Z is for Zeppelin, Led. Dad's got some tapes in the Impala. The Zeppelin ones are the coolest. When I get to drive, I'm gonna play them non-stop.

The End


End file.
